Negative Nellies Wear Me Out

By Wesley Middleton

​We all think this, but we are afraid to say it. Right? Come on. You know I am right! Didn't you immediately have someone in mind when you saw the title? Yeah, of course you did. Leaders get worn out by the negative nellies. I mean, really, how do the NNs of the world make it through life? At work, at school, at church, wherever you are they exist. They are the bane of my existence. What was it the Apostle Paul said, the thorn in my flesh? Yeah, I am sure that is part of his concern.

The temperature isn't right. The music is too loud. The music isn't loud enough. The free food you provide is terrible (it is FREE food!!). Geez. Seriously? Are your Life Glasses dirty? I just wonder what glasses people view the world through. Dirty glasses?

What I know is this, people will find the worst in situations, no matter how much better it is than anywhere else they could go. People are so happy with their compensation, UNTIL, they find out what everyone else makes. 
You must resist human nature to find what is wrong about the people around you. Anyone can find the problem! Can you identify the solution? THAT is what matters.

The good news is that if you can find what is wrong, you can now shut your mouth about what is wrong, identify the solution, and then OPEN your mouth. Do you know what that is called? Consulting. Yes, identifying the problem, offering the solution. So you have 50% of it right. Now finish it out. Offer the solution. 

Your team is NOT motivated by your negative comments. Here is the crutch I have heard, "they need to "man-up" and quit being such babies and so sensitive". Wow. You are a leader aren't you? If so, it is on YOU, not them. Maybe you should look for the good in those around you and not the negative. Man up and lead. 

If you are at church, God will take care of those that don't measure up. He doesn't need you or your opinions, so leave it alone. Let Him or the Pastor handle it! I have said so many times, just because it is true, you don't get a pass to say it! Here is the funny part, some veil it as "constructive criticism". Really? Just be quiet and quit offering CC. 

If you are at the office, be positive. Peer pressure will solve the negative issues. Sure, you should bring them to the attention of the office leader, but them get out of the way and HUSH! Constructive criticism leads to positive results, criticism leads to decreased momentum. Which are you offering?
My pet peeve. Before you sweep in front on my door step, how about you sweep yours? Yeah. Drives me nuts. It is so easy to find everything wrong with everyone else, but if we all just take care of our domain, responsibility and door step, we would all be much better off. 

 Let's wrap it up:

• Take care of your people and your team, sweep your own door step.
• Quit worrying about those that around you, it will get taken care of.
• Focus on what is GOOD about a person (spouse, boss, team member, Pastor) and not what is wrong with them.
• We ALL have issues. 
• Be nice to your spouse! Say something positive on a regular basis.
• Don't be a Negative Nelly! Find solutions, not just problems. 

The #1 rule in our office........you can't come to my office with a problem or issue without a solution. Otherwise it is just noise. 
​
Be positive and be a positive influence on those around you!

Wesley Middleton is the managing partner at MRZ LLP, a Houston, Texas-based accounting firm voted Best Place to Work by the Houston Business Journal. Wesley is the author of Violent Leadership (Forbes Books, 2017) and is represented by PumpJack Speakers Bureau. To book Wesley for your event, email Wesley.Middleton@PumpJack.me or click here.